Mother’s Day Message

May 11^th 2008

Key Passage: Exodus 20:12

Parenting is one of the most challenging and rewarding aspects of our lives. Each generation takes on a challenge that impacts the lives of the generation that follows and the word of God is not silent about parenting. In fact, parenting makes it into the top ten.

As we read the Bible we see that both mothers and fathers are commanded to do several things in the Word. They are to provide:

• Availability – morning, noon, and night (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)
• Involvement – interacting, discussing, thinking and processing life together (Ephesians 6:4)
• Teaching – the Scriptures, a biblical world-view (Psalm 78:5-6, Deuteronomy 4:10, Ephesians 6:4)
• Training – helping a child develop skills and discover his strengths (Proverbs 22:6)
• Discipline – teaching the fear of the Lord, drawing the line consistently, lovingly, firmly (Ephesians 6:4, Hebrews 12:5-11, Proverbs 13:24, 19:18, 22:15, 23:13-14, 29:15-17)
• Nurture – providing an environment of constant verbal support, freedom to fail, acceptance, affection, unconditional love, (Titus 2:4, 2 Timothy 1:7, Ephesians 4:29-32, 5:1-2, Galatians 5:22, 1 Peter 3:8-9)
• Modeling with Integrity – living what you say, being a model by which a child can learn by "catching" the essence of godly living (Deuteronomy 4:9; Proverbs 10:9, 11:3; Psalm 37:18, 37).

The Bible records several different types of Mothers:

• Idolatrous........Judges 17:1-4 (Micah’s Mom).
• Troubled .....1 Kings 17: 17-24 (Elijah and thewidow at Zarephath)
• Cruel..............2 Kings 11:1,2 (Athaliah the mother of Ahaziah)
• Joyful................1 Samuel 2 (Hannah)
• Scheming.....Matthew 20:20-23 (James and John’s Mom)
• Prayerful.............Acts 12:12 (John’s Mother)

HONORING PARENTS A Look at Exodus 20:12 – Revised from a sermon by Rick Warren

It's no secret that families are fragmenting at an alarming rate. The average marriage in America lasts 7 1/2 years. Sixty percent of all second marriages fail. Every thirty seconds there is a divorce in America. Now, kids can even divorce their parents. The Bible presents a different view of the home and in our main text today within the Ten Commandments we read: Exodus 20:12 "Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land."

There is no time limit or age limit on this. It just says honor your father and mother. It doesn't say anything about children. You may be 80 years old and your parent is 100, you are supposed to honor your father and mother.

I. WHY DID GOD GIVE THIS COMMANDMENT?

All of us have weaknesses and faults and inconsistencies, mistakes. Only God is the perfect parent. Even the best parents have made mistakes and sinned. The Bible says, "We've all sinned." As a result we're all warped. There is a book with the title: I'm Dysfunctional, You're Dysfunctional and that about sums it up! None of us have perfect parents and you're not a perfect parent either.

There are many parents who are unworthy of honor. They were abusive, manipulative, neglectful. What is God telling me to do? Am I supposed to ignore the pain, put on a happy face and pretend everything is great? No, you're not. But God is saying I want you to honor the position of parenthood.

There are three sources of authority in life: the home, the church, and the government. Each of them have roles. They are the basis for an orderly society. God wants you to honor the position of parenthood regardless of the personality behind it.

This is a critical lesson that every child must learn. It determines how well you're going to do at school, in your career, in relationships. The child who grow up saying, "Nobody tells me what to do!" is going to have a hard time keeping a job. There are a lot of times you have to do what somebody tells you to do whether you want to or not. So God wants us to learn to respect authority.

3. How I relate to my parents will affect every other relationship?

It is the major forming factor in your life. Your style of relating to others is set at home. Even today, as a grown up, when you act in ways you don't understand and can't figure out your behavior, many times it's because you're still responding in ways that you learned from home.

Surveys have shown that people who get along with their parents have far les stress in their lives.

II. HOW AM I TO HONOR MY PARENTS?

It depends on what stage of life you're in. Each stage you apply this command somewhat differently.

1. AS A CHILD, I HONOR MY PARENTS BY OBEYING AND RESPECTING

THEM.

Eph 6:1 "Children, obey your parents; this is the right thing to do because God has placed them in authority over you." Obey -- do what they say, willfully, pleasantly, immediately. In our culture, as long as you're under your parent's roof you're to obey them. Since you are dependent upon your parents for food, clothing, shelter, insurance... they have a right to call the shots in your life.

2. AS A YOUNG PERSON, I HONOR MY PARENTS BY ACCEPTING AND

APPRECIATING THEM.

The older you get, you start seeing the faults of your parents. You start seeing their hang-ups, faults, the chinks in the armor. It becomes important for you to accept them in spite of their weaknesses.

Acceptance means:

1. Realizing that God used them to bring you into the world. Your parents may have been excellent, mediocre or poor but regardless of how they treated you growing up, the fact is they gave you something that nobody else in the world could give you -- they gave you your life.

2. Listening to what they have to say. When you're out on your own, you're not bound by their advice but you don't despise it. "Listen to your father who gave you your life and do not despise your mother." Pr. 23;22.

   You can disagree without being disagreeable. You listen to them, pay them courtesy of listening to them and you don't tune them out. That's part of acceptance.

3. Acceptance includes forgiveness. The fact of life is we often hurt those we love the most -- intentionally and unintentionally. If you live together for any length of time you're going to be hurt by the people in your family. Families must be built on forgiveness because we hurt each other.

It's easy to take parents for granted. Some of you had super parents and it's easy for you to appreciate them. For some of you it's a little, or a lot, more difficult. I would suggest that there are at least two things you could appreciate about your parents regardless who they were:

1. You can appreciate their effort. Parenting is a difficult, time-demanding, energy draining job. As a parent of two children I have a new appreciation of what my parents went through. It takes energy just to corral your kids, much less teach them anything.

2. You can appreciate their sacrifice. Parenting is costly and rewarding and adding children to the family means that things change. The economics today alone are staggering. If you're a parent today it will cost you to raise a child to maturity about a quarter of a million dollars.

The early investment comes to term in the long run and it's a great transition when your parents become your friends.

3. AS AN ADULT, I HONOR MY PARENTS BY AFFIRMING AND NOT

ABANDONING THEM.

For many parents, growing older, the older they get the less respect they get. All of their affirming friends start to die off. They are no longer wanted in the market place for their skills and wisdom. Their grown children are busy with their own families. They lead lonely lives. Your parents have a great need, a desperate need, to feel and to know that they made some kind of positive contribution in your life. They need affirmation. God says He wants you to affirm your parents for the rest of your life as long as they're alive.

How do you do that? I am going to suggest three main ways to affirm your parents:

1. You affirm your parents by staying in touch with them. Every time you write a letter, a card, make a call, you're obeying this command -- honor your father and mother. Prov. 3:27 "Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act." Do the right thing while you've got time to do it. Affirm your parents now. All the flowers in the world at their funeral won't do them one bit of good so send them now.

2. Affirming them means listening to counsel, giving them the courtesy of asking for counsel. Even if you don't follow it at least you listen to it. I think this involves in-laws too. We have good examples of Moses listening to his father-in-law, and Ruth listening to her mother-in-law.

3. Personally make sure that they are cared for. That may mean all kinds of different things. It may mean going and changing the oil in their car when they need it. It may mean inviting them into your home. It may mean hiring a nurse to care for them when they are frail and can't take care of themselves. There are all kinds of applications to it. The point is it's your responsibility and opportunity to make sure they're cared for.

A word to parents: If you want to be honored, you must be honorable. "And now a word to you parents: Don't keep on scolding and nagging your children, making them angry and resentful. Rather, bring them up with loving discipline." Ephesians 6:4 in the Living Bible. Paul is saying, don't drive your kids nuts by being unpleasable.

What parents need to realize today is that a key to good parenting is loving discipline.

Every child must learn two things:

1. Disobedience brings pain. Every person has to learn that. God says that -- you disobey God there is pain in your life because sin causes separation.
2. Obedience to God brings freedom. Then your life is on track and with meaning. As a person you are more trusted and you're more responsible.

In conclusion:

As a Christian parent, your number one goal in your life should be to insure the fact that your kids come to know Christ when they are old enough to follow Him personally. Your relationship with God should be an attractive and helpful example of faith in action.

God leaves the choice to accept His salvation up to each of us and He is the one who will honor our choice. Many of the people in this room today have come to the Lord in great part due to the example of their mothers and other godly women.

Let’s make sure that we celebrate, on this day and through the whole year, the women in our lives who help us fall in love with God.

May God continue to bless us with godly women and mothers.