Loving By Choice
Sermon for February 17, 2008
This is the time of year for Valentine’s Day cards, chocolates, flowers, gifts etc… How many people here today gave or received one of these things?
Love is all around us. We sing about it, talk about it, read about it, watch movies with love as the main theme. God has made us to be relational people and we need to show His love to others and we can do that by the choices that we make.
Today we use the word love when we are talking about appreciation or desire. We hear and say that we love the food we eat, the car we drive, someone else’s food or car, just as we love our job, friends, pets, and spouse. We have so overused the word "love" that many people have no idea of what "true love" is.
Definitions:
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
C. Neil Strait said: "Love is the one ingredient of which our world never tires and of which there is never an abundance. It is needed in the marketplace and in the mansions. It is needed in the ghettos and in the governments. It is needed in homes, in hospitals, and in individual hearts. The world will never outgrow its need for love."
The message that so often comes from our songs, movies, media, and advertising is that love is a feeling and if the feeling is not there then seek it somewhere else. Love is temporary and it is based on your perception not on your actions and commitment. The world’s view of love is incomplete at best and dangerous at worst.
Unlike English the Greek language has separate words for different aspects of love.
| Eros (ἔρως érōs) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Modern Greek word "erotas" means "(romantic) love". However, eros does not have to be sexual in nature. Eros can be interpreted as a love for someone whom you love more than the philia love of friendship. |
| |
| Philia (φιλία philía), which means friendship in modern Greek, a dispassionate virtuous love, was a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. In ancient texts, philia denoted a general type of love, used for love between family, between friends, a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers. This is the only other word for "love" used in the ancient text of the New Testament besides agape, but even then it is used substantially less frequently. |
| Storge (στοργή storgē) means "affection" in modern Greek; it is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring. Rarely used in ancient works, and then almost exclusively as a descriptor of relationships within the family. |
| Thelema (θέλημα thélēma) means "desire" in modern Greek; it is the desire to do something, to be occupied, to be in prominence. |
| Agapē (ἀγάπη agápē) means "love" in modern day Greek. The term s'agapo means "I love you" in Greek. The word "agapo" is the verb "I love". In Ancient Greek it often refers to a general affection rather than the attraction suggested by "eros"; agape is used in ancient texts to denote feelings for a good meal, one's children, and the feelings for a spouse. It can be described as the feeling of being content or holding one in high regard. The verb appears in the New Testament describing, amongst other things, the relationship between Jesus and the beloved disciple. In biblical literature, its meaning and usage is illustrated by self-sacrificing, giving love to all--both friend and enemy. It is used in Matthew 22:39, "Love your neighbour as yourself," and in John 15:12, "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you," and in 1 John 4:8, "God is love." However, the word "agape" is not always used in the New Testament in a positive sense. 2 Timothy 4:10 uses the word in a negative sense. The Apostle Paul writes,"For Demas hath forsaken me, having loved (agapo) this present world...." Thus the word "agape" is not always used of a divine love or the love of God. Christian commentators have expanded the original Greek definition to encompass a total commitment or self-sacrificial love for the thing loved. Because of its frequency of use in the New Testament, Christian writers have developed a significant amount of theology based solely on the interpretation of this word. |
The Bible is not silent about the love of God. It is one of the major themes that is developed. Some of our best known scriptures are about the love of God, but let’s not let them become trite. John 3:16 says: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." and Matthew 5:43-48 shows that our love is to be of a different level than the people of the world: "You have heard that it was said, `Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'
44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."Romans 5:5 tells us how we can achieve this level of love: "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." While verse 8 shows God’s love in action: "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
If we are to be God’s people we have to be people of love. In John 13:34-35 Jesus says to the 11 Apostles "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."The text that we have been aiming for this morning that shows that love is a choice is 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
1CO 13:4
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1CO 13:8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.Because of our respect of the other person, the relationship and God we can, and must, choose to be patient. We choose to be kind instead of rude. We choose to rejoice in the success of others and we choose to not brag about ourselves and get caught in the "one-upmanship" that he world promotes. We choose to not be prideful and arrogant trying to get people to look at us. These are the choices that we make.
We choose to avoid self seeking behavior by choosing to focus on the needs of others. We choose to keep our calm because the pain that we can cause in anger is not easily repaired. We choose to think about the positives instead of recording the wrongs. We choose to speak the truth in a loving way so that lives are made better. These choices show that we are led by the love of God.
We choose to protect others, trust them and to put our trust in them. We choose to invest in people to show them a positive future that is lit by hope. We choose to keep going when the going gets hard and the road is long. And we choose to do this through the power of the Spirit and the love that God has placed in us because, unlike ours, His love never fails.
How are you doing with your choices? Are you choosing to love as God has loved you?
Take time to think of your strengths and to allow God to work on your weaknesses.
Following the way of the Lord means choosing to love God, our friends, family, neighbours, the lost and our enemies because God is Love.
May your choice to love give you opportunity to share the gospel message this week.
What Love is According to Children:
What does Love mean?
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren – age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"
When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need.
4107 Pleasant Valley Road
vernonchurchofchrist@telus.net
Return to the top of this page.
Return to the Vernon Church of Christ Home Page.